Learning to Stand on my Own

Hello there.

I am someone who, for the longest time, didn't know what I really wanted in life—or even where to begin.

All I knew was that I wanted to be free.

Free from a life where other people always decided what was best for me. Free from constantly hearing what my mother thought was right for her, while forgetting what was right for me and for my sons.

Yes, I have two gorgeous boys.

They are my greatest inspiration. Every decision I make, every sacrifice I endure, is because of them. They are the reason I keep moving forward, even on the days when I feel like giving up.

I wanted more from life.

Not because being a housewife is something to be ashamed of. In fact, when I was young, I dreamed of becoming a wife and a mother. I imagined myself taking care of my family with all my heart.

But life doesn't always turn out the way we imagine.

Sometimes, the person you believe will protect you becomes the very person who breaks you.

I've been through countless ups and downs. Today, I am separated from the father of my children—the man I once believed was my best friend, my confidant, my partner, and my comfort.

Instead, he became someone who only used me to satisfy his own wants.

He was lazy, selfish, close-minded, and driven by his own ego.

Sometimes I still ask myself, "How did I end up with someone like that?"

I gave him everything I had.

I even went against my own family because I believed in us. I believed we could build a happy home together.

Yet when I wanted to give something back to my parents—the people who worked hard to send me to school—he refused.

He wanted everything I earned.

Every peso.

Every sacrifice.

He didn't work. He never even finished college. Yet somehow, he made me feel as if I had never sacrificed anything for him.

If there's one thing he gave me, it was the experience of having my life turned upside down.

Looking back, I've realized something.

You should never give someone your complete trust too quickly.

People can earn your trust... only to betray it once they know they already have it.

Will I ever trust people the same way again?

I honestly don't know.

But for now...

I trust only myself.

Because before I can trust someone else again, I have to make sure I never lose myself in the process.