Second Chance: Chapter 1.1

Pagbukas ng pinto, naroon si Carlo. Hindi nag-iisa. Parang huminto ang oras. Hindi siya sumigaw. Hindi siya umiyak. Hindi siya nagwala. Nakatayo lang siya. Nakatitig. Parang hindi maintindihan ng utak niya ang nakikita ng mga mata niya. Sampung taon. Sampung taon ng pangarap. Sampung taon ng pagtitipid. Sampung taon ng pagpaplano kung saan sila titira, ilang anak gusto nila, anong kulay ng bahay nila. Lahat ng iyon, sa isang iglap, parang naging wala. "Su—" Narinig niya ang boses ni Carlo pero parang malayo. Napahawak siya sa doorknob. Huminga. Isa. Dalawa. Tatlo. Pagkatapos ay tumalikod. Lumabas. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya nakarating sa parking lot. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya nakapag-book ng Grab. Hindi niya alam kung bakit nanginginig ang mga kamay niya. Ang alam lang niya, kailangan niyang umalis. Kailangan niyang makahinga. Alas singko ng umaga. Kakagaling lang niya sa graveyard shift. Excited pa naman siyang umuwi. Ilang linggo na silang halos hindi nagkikita ni Carlo dahil sa overtime. May dala pa siyang paboritong ensaymada nito. Nasa backpack pa. Hindi man lang nabuksan. "Sue!" Pasigaw na tawag ni Carlo. Pero walang narinig si Sue Rodriguez. Narating si Sue sa apartment ng katrabaho nya si Mika. "Sue!" nagulat at nag aalalang tawag nito. "pasok ka, pasensya magulo dito." deretsong umupo si Sue. Tulala. maririnig na may tumatawag sa cellphone ni Sue. "May tumatawag sayo". tinignan lng ni Sue at inilapag ang cellphone. "nag away ba kayu?" tanung ni Mika. pero kahit dati nag aaway sila hindi naman si Sue sumusugod ng ganito sa bahay nila. mas pinipili netong mag videoke sa KTV, may kasama man o wala. ilang ring pa. "sagutin ko ha. " wala paring sagot. kinuha ni Mika ang cellphone. sinagot mya eto. "hoy, Carlo, ano nanaman ginawa mo! bakit tulala tong Si Sue. " hindi agad nakasagot si carlo sa kabilang linya. "Mika, sorry. paki alagaan muna c Sue please." at may narinig syang babae sa kabilang linya. "asan ka ba?" "nasa apartment." mukhang alam na ni Mika ang nangyayari. "Ang Gag* mo!" agad na pinatay ni Mika ang cellphone at nilagay sa bag ni Sue. tumingin si Mika kay Sue. Matagal na silang magka-team sa Workforce. Hindi sila best friends.Pero isa siya sa mga taong komportable si Sue. "Sue." mahinang tawag nya dito. "Sue!" Doon lang siya napalingon. Namumula na ang mata niya pero wala pa ring luha. At iyon ang mas nakakatakot. Parang wala siyang nararamdaman. "Anong nangyari?" Tahimik. "Sue?" "Pwede ba sumama ka sakin?" tanong ni Sue. Napahinto si Mika. Wala nang tanong. Wala nang usisa. Tumango lang siya. Makalipas ang isang oras, nasa isang beach sila sa San Joaquin, Iloilo. Tahimik. Nakaupo sa buhangin. Nakatingin sa dagat. Sumisikat na ang araw. At doon lang tuluyang bumigay si Sue. Hindi iyak. Hindi hagulgol. Kundi isang mahinang tanong. "Bakit?" Napatingin si Mika sa kanya. "Wala naman akong ginawang masama." Doon na tumulo ang unang luha. "Sampung taon, Mika." Isa pa. "Sampung taon." At sa unang pagkakataon mula nang makita niya ang pagtataksil ni Carlo... Umiyak si Sue.

The Courage to Walk Away

Four years ago, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I left my hometown and my good-for-now job as an instructor at Capiz State University to pursue something uncertain.

To be honest, both paths were uncertain at that time. I didn't know if I could continue my master's degree if I stayed, and I wasn't sure if I could survive the emotional turmoil I was going through.

I wasn't running away from my problems—I was walking away from the people who kept creating them. I realized that if I stayed any longer, they would only continue to make life harder for me. For me, ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.

I knew I had to make a decision while I was still thinking clearly. What if I waited until I was completely drained? The only people who would truly suffer would be my children. Some people simply don't care, so I had to take a leap of faith.

It wasn't an easy decision, but looking back, I'm grateful that I made it.

Today, I can't imagine where I would be if I had stayed. I feel at peace. I feel content. I am happy with the life I have now, and most importantly, I feel reunited with my family.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: never be afraid to choose yourself. Only you truly know what's best for your life. Many people will try to persuade you to do what they think is right, but sometimes their advice serves their own interests more than yours.

So please, TRUST YOURSELF . Have the courage to make the decision that's right for you—before it's too late.

Behind Every Attitude

Have you ever asked yourself why one of your friends seems to take everything negatively? Have you ever wondered why someone you know acts differently from everyone else? Why do some people do bad things, or simply behave in ways we don't understand? Have you ever stopped to think that there might be a reason behind the attitudes they have?

For most of us, when someone acts differently, our first instinct is to stay away. Admit it—only a few people, maybe one out of a hundred friends, or sometimes none at all, will break the silence and try to understand. Very few people have the courage to look beyond the "monster" someone seems to be. They may be afraid of what they'll find, or afraid of awakening emotions they don't know how to handle.

People often say that true friends are rare, and perhaps they're right. You're lucky if you have someone who will take long rides just to see you, knock on your door in the middle of the night without even knowing if you'll answer, listen patiently to your endless dramas, scold you like a mother, and then hug you without judgment. Every friendship is tested at some point. The real question is this: if you are truly a friend, will you allow those challenges to break your friendship? Not even distance—or continental boundaries—should be enough to do that.

I once heard someone say, "She only remembers me when she needs something or someone to lean on." Instead of complaining, maybe you should feel honored. Why? Because you are that person's safe place. It simply means you have a significant influence in their life. Sometimes, people don't come to you because they need solutions. They come because they need someone who will listen.

Human beings are naturally intelligent. We are born with the ability to face hardships in life. Deep inside, we often know what we should do. The problem is that our emotions sometimes cloud our judgment.

Emotions are powerful. According to psychological theories, emotions are states of feeling that produce physical and psychological changes, influencing the way we behave. They play a vital role in our lives. Since our emotions influence our behavior, we often act based on what we feel.

This brings us back to the questions at the beginning. The way people behave often reflects the emotions they carry. From the moment we are in the womb until adulthood, the people around us greatly influence our emotional development. These experiences shape the attitudes we have today.

Remember, we are born with the capacity to choose between right and wrong. We are not born good or bad. We become who we are through the environment we grow up in and the people who surround us. If we grow up receiving love, we usually have plenty of love to give. But if we grow up without it, we spend our lives searching for it. Sadly, some people end up looking for love in the wrong places.

So why do people feel this way?

One of our greatest emotional needs is to feel important—to feel valued, loved, and worthy. Imagine trying to face life's challenges while constantly believing that you are unimportant, unworthy, or unloved. When someone carries those feelings long enough, even a small problem can feel unbearable. For some, that overwhelming pain leads to thoughts of suicide.

To some people, suicide seems like the only solution to endless suffering. But it isn't a solution. It is an escape—an attempt to run away from a reality that feels too painful to bear.

I have thought about suicide before. But then I remembered the places I still wanted to visit, the dreams I had yet to fulfill, and the joy of raising my children, who have become one of life's greatest blessings. I prayed and asked God to take away my worries and give me the strength to remain calm and strong in the face of every challenge.

Even today, I still face many problems—more than I can count—but I face them with a much calmer heart than before.

If you're reading this, I hope you take a moment to reflect. Be kinder. Try to understand before you judge. Everyone is fighting a battle you may know nothing about.

And if you have questions, or if you simply need someone to listen, feel free to leave a comment or send me an email. I'd be more than happy to hear from you.

Take care, and always choose kindness.❤️❤️❤️❤️

Saan ka ba Aabutin??

Wake up in the middle of the night…. Day off pero eto…feeling ko mag duduty ng 2am in the morning shift. Very adjusted na sa BPO noh…addict lang….since d naman ako pupunta ng shift..( as if may pupuntahan pang shift)…eto nanood ng Oshopping since abs-cbn lang naman channel sa bahay..:) ng timpla ng coffee…bored parin. Kay lumabas ako ng bahay ng igib ng tubig at ng brush ng sahig sa kusina.. worth it dba??? Pero kapagod pala lalo na pag wala kang  brush na mahaba yung handle..gamit mung brush ung maliit, hindi tootbrush ha…sobrang liit non.. baka next year pa ako matapos nun… haixt! kaya ni-rush ko nalang at pagkatapoz humingga nah…  “nakakapapagod pala, especially if you don’t have the right tool in doing something, as if you don’t do it right., even your goal is just simple to make it better or beautiful,” apparently hindi parin ako makatulog.. addict na talaga sa graveyardshift.. kaya pati sa bahay graveyard ako gumagawa ng paglilinis….

So since d ako makatulog magshashare ako ng isang weird thing about me… hahha… oo.. sa nakakakilala sakin… SIRA ulo daw ako… sabi ko naman only great minds can understand me… Normal minds finds me crazy… parang Einstien lang ang peg…. Anyway….  Kasi marami rin naman nagtatanong nito sakin… di ko alam pero tuwing tinatanung tuh sakin binabalik ko naman a sarili ko… at tinananung ko rin naman sya…pero di nya rin ako sinasagot ng totoo yung sinasagot kasi ni sarili ko puro fictional na tao.. someone that really don’t exist.. hahahha. So the question goes this way… “who is your crush? Ultimate crush? Crushed?”

Unang sagot ni sarili ko… JOSE Rizal.. hahhaha.. uy si Jose rizal di fiction yung ha… but he exist a hundred years ago…buhay pa kaya sya?? Syemre patay.. sa luneta binaril diba??? Si rizal kasi ay RESPETO sa kapwa.. Marunong umunawa at yung bang uunahin yung kapakanan ng iba bago sya.. (hero nga dba)?  Second.. Edward of twilight…. Vampire? Di naman yun… yung character niya deleting of pagiging vampire nya… is caring (parang rizal din , uunahin yung kapakanan ni Bella bago sya..)… because that’s one trait that most woman wants , someone who cares for them as if they are a delicate glass that can easily be broken..at totoo yun. We women are easily broke. MARUPOK. Pero! L**** mga bwisit na Martian(MEN) mas marupok daw? Lalo na sa kaakit akit na MAIS… kaya tumutuka..! anyway.. this is isn’t about men…thought I am certified Feminist… di naman ako Anti-men.. sa dami kung kaibigang lalaki na wala naman kwenta halos lahat… laro dito- laro doon… so 100 lalaking kilala ko 2 lang ang matino… yung isa kalahati pa ng matinu kasi aral daw muna sya… at ang iba bakla na so di are not counted….

Okay… JOSe RIZAl, Edward… and recently dahil sa pagkacurious ko sa immortal man… I watched #apromiseofforever… helo sa addict din dyan… sa bashers tumahimik ka nalang… okey??? RESPETO sa mga likers…RESPETO… Una-unang pondasyon po yan sa kahit anung klaseng relasyon… pero minsan Misinterpreted (how? E.g. sa anak at magulang. Si anak ng plot ng side nya why it happens, kunwari may kasalanan, ngayon nagsalita, si magulang then dahil nagsalita si anak,sabi ni magulang “sasagot sagot kna ngayon? Anung pinagmamalaki mu? Ha? Walang modo, walang RESPETO???”, huh? Walang respeto kahit yung pagsasalita ni anak eh magkanda utal utal at sobrang liit pa ng boses, gusto lang ni anak marining yung side nya?) kaya sa mga magulang dyan pakingaan nyo po anak nyu.. at sana kahit alam nyong mali sya.. iparamdam nyu parin na mahal nyo sya.. dahil maraming bata iniisip na di sila mahal ng magulang nila dahil di to nakikiknig sa kanila… that’s why napapariwala po maga nak natin… try to think of it.. You have free communication in the house, itwould bea betterplace to live in…

Okey going back.. (ang daming topic..!) .. if you know how to respect you can be trusted.. tama?  If you can be trusted you are lovable…  LOVABLE…

Okey! So oo na nga humangga po ako sa character na , Nicholas Barrientos…yun lang ha.. hindi si Lorenzo Espinosa, o si Emil Mendoza. So why Nicholas Barrientos,  experiensyado kasi…interms po sa life (in 150 years of existence, syempre).. he is wise, pero again kahit gano katagal mu na sa mundo pagdating sa pag ibig… TANGA! Yun nga eh…malala sya…pero aside that… he knows how to manage everthing, and he is mayaman, maalaga,mabait, marespeto at cool lang, and may concern sa kapwa.. a kind of person na di mo makikita sa normal na lalaki kasi po lalaki po ngayon sa bahay lang po..wlang ginagawa kahit kanda kuba kuba na misis nila sa katatatrabaho yung iba lasinggero at puro sa bisyo.. walang modo!kaka hiya! sila yung may lakas at kakyahan na khit pag uwi sa bahay ay nagagawang kapit lang sa jeep ay yun! Kaming mga babae ang nakikipag agawan,at nakikipagsiksikan sa magulong mundo. Tayung mga babae pagdating nag bahay magluluto, papakainin mga bata, tapoz  maglalaba, mamalantsa,at kung anu- anu pang Gawain sa bahay….. may mga tao lang talaga na makapal ang mukha.. at  halos sila ay lalaki po…  pag lumabas ng bahay naman at nagtrabaho, kunting sahod palang ngmamalaki na.. cla na daw ang bumubuhay sa pamilya nila without even thinking of “SAAN AABOT ANG 2,000 mu sa isang buwan???”, minsan pa mangbababae pa.

Sa lahat ng bagay po walang malaki o maliit.. walang sapat o sobra…walang tama o mali… dahil saan ka man dyan sa dalawa  pag di  po nailalagay sa dapat na kalagyan nito gulo ang nangyayari.. malaki man yan o maliit kung may Respeto at pag uunawaan sa bawat isa sa loob ng isang bahay. Sobra pa po yan sa mansion… Masaya na buhay… wala akong hilig sa karangyaan. Pero sa buhay na toh.. tama pera ang nagpapaikot… Pera ang importante… pero kahit anung hamon meron ako sa buhay ko at kahit na realized ko na nasa lahat ng bagay, dito samundo pera ang importante… mas importante parin sakin ang oras na maibibigay ko at saya sa mahalaga sa akin.. sa mga anak ko… kasi yung pera lilipas din yan… pero alam ko ang bawat nakasama ko  sa paglalakbay ko sa buhay na toh… we have good memories to share….

Ano bayan? Ano ba talaga topic ko dito…ang dami sa ulo ko kasi..so sa ng waste ng time to read  thank you. Thanks for sharing the time with me… and VON Boyage! Sa buhay..!!! bitin noh… pero sasusunod nlang ulit…

Sleepy na ako… nights… 

PiSo at its Best😅

This is a late post... Happened on April 7 (Friday). 😊

It started so early. I woke up that morning feeling so excited for the Final Defense of my beloved 3rd year students. ❤️

I got ready and skipped breakfast because I wanted to be at school early so I could print my grade sheets and submit them to the Registrar's Office. I arrived at school at around 7:00 AM. Even though it was raining (and yes, nabasa gid ko kay nag-motor lang ko 😅), I still made it.

When I reached the Administration Office, Anak Andy and Bae Jojo were already heading home to get ready for the Final Defense. I then went to our faculty office and managed to finish my grade sheets just before 8:00 AM. That's when I realized the rain hadn't stopped yet, and most of the researchers were still nowhere to be found.

So... tick-tock... tick-tock...

While waiting, I started encoding the grading sheets for the BSIT Final Defense. One by one, the researchers arrived—first Andy, then Evangeline. I later found out they still hadn't finished printing their manuscripts, except for Vange, who was simply waiting for her partner to arrive.

So... more waiting.

Due to the public demand of my existence. 😂 I had to personally submit some documents in Roxas City because they were scheduled and couldn't be entrusted to someone else. I informed Ma'am Sha and the rest of the panel that I needed to leave for a while and that we would resume at 1:00 PM.

Off I went.

I waited for almost 20 minutes before finally riding a public utility van. Along Magsaysay, my best friend's mom also boarded the van. Since we're very close, I immediately blurted out,

"Baw, Tita! Upod naman kita? Damu gid kita guro estoryahan ay!"

She replied,

"Ay abaw! An, ara ikaw da? Daw amo gid guro!"

We both laughed.

She sat beside me, and our conversation lasted all the way to Roxas City. We mostly talked about her nephew—our student. ❤️

Indeed, God is good because Tita even paid for my fare! 😅

Thanks, Tita! Sa uulitin! From the van to the jeepney... huya-huya man ko, pero salamat gid ya. Hehehe.

We parted ways when I got off at CapSU Main, the nearest drop-off point to my destination—DBP.

At DBP, I was asked to provide another photocopy of my ID. So I went out to look for a photocopy shop.

Here's the funny part...

I only needed one photocopy, which cost ₱1.

Guess what?

Wala ko piso. 😂

With my huge bag, I couldn't find a single peso! Ginhalungkat ko na halos tanan nga unod sang bag ko tungod lang sa piso. I even thought of paying with a ₱500 bill, but seriously... for ₱1? 😂

I didn't give up.

After turning my bag upside down, I finally found one lonely peso.

"Huy abaw! Muna gid ko ya kayaman!" 🤣

Finally, I submitted all the requirements.

Now I had to head back to Pilar for the defense. Then I remembered my baby boy had no milk left at home, so I stopped by the grocery to buy milk, some food for the kids and me, and of course... coffee for my dear Mother Earth. ☕

As I walked out of the grocery, I realized I still hadn't accomplished my main goal in the city. But somehow, everything became brighter because...

The jeepney driver was cute. 🤭😂

Ay! Biglang naging maaliwalas ang mundo ko.

Ambot kung gwapo gid siya, pero nami gid ya iya sunggad. 😂

So... plus points for the day!

I finally arrived back in Pilar at exactly 1:00 PM.

And then the defense started...

...

...

...

Only to realize...

IT WASN'T THE FINAL DEFENSE.

It was only the PRE-ORAL DEFENSE. 🤦‍♀️🤣

See you again this November 2018! 😂🎉

No More Fairytales

People say physical attraction comes first before anything else.

I used to want to prove the world wrong. I wanted to believe that, in some cases, true love really does exist.

Will I ever be able to prove it? Maybe. Maybe not.

And honestly, if I fail, that's okay. Failure teaches us. Learning gives us wisdom.

I've reached a point where I'm ready to be happy, even if I'm alone.

I no longer expect anyone to stay. Although I was once confused by the time, effort, and attention someone gave me, I've learned to simply let it go.

There was this man...

Someone I used to spend time with.

He was funny, witty, creative, and talented. I had known him for years, but I never imagined we'd become that close.

Then one day, he finally confessed how he really felt.

Ironically, all I could do was laugh.

Because it seemed that every man who came into my life wanted the same thing—to score.

Can you really blame me for not believing anymore?

Can you blame me for doubting words that once became the reason behind my broken heart and shattered dreams?

Whether the truth was kept secret or spoken aloud, the ending always felt the same.

It hurt.

It hurt enough that I never wanted to go through it again.

And then there was you.

With you, I never knew what was real and what was another lie.

Because, honestly, I found you to be dishonest.

So I asked myself...

What would I really gain from loving you?

Yes, you're handsome.

You're talented.

You made me laugh.

You listened to me.

You talked to me.

And maybe... I felt the same way you said you felt about me.

But someone else had done all of those things before.

None of those things could feed me.

Once upon a time, I believed that love could conquer everything.

I was wrong.

Love alone wasn't enough to build the life I dreamed of.

Reality taught me that feelings without commitment are just empty promises.

Maybe not every man is the same.

Maybe there are still those willing to sacrifice, to stay, and to choose love despite the risks.

But my experiences taught me that fear often speaks louder than love.

Sometimes, what we mistake for love is nothing more than desire.

And that's the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn.

I'm sorry.

Not because I stopped believing in fairy tales...

But because life taught me to believe in actions more than words.

May 4ever ba o Wala (REal Talk)

Sabi nang ilan may forever sila,

sabi naman ng iba walang forever. 

Naniniwala ako na walang forever

Sabi ko pa nang minsan akong nasaktan hindi totoo ang LOVE. 

Pero mali ako, maling-mali

Kasinaranasan kong magmahal.

Walang tanung,walang kasi, basta mahal ko.

Hindi dahil gwapo o dahil may utak, hindi dahil may pera o may kapangyarihan, 

hindi dahil may laban sa lipunan o mansion ang bahay.. 

Tanging rason ko lang eh BASTA MAHAL KO SYA.  

Eh yun naman ang LOVE dba. 

LOVE is REAL 

FOREVER EXIST

Ang kaso nga lang minsan nasa iisang tao lang yun. 

Iisang tao na nagmahal, nasaktan, at umasa.

Sa tingin ko nga ang swerte ko,

Dahil naranasan ko ng tatlong pagkakataon,

SIMPLY IT DOESN'T WORK OUT 

Its the reality of life na kailangang tangapin. 

May mga taong di lang talaga para isa’t- isa. 

Nagkakasakitan 

There are people who can’t take care of the trust you gave them. 

Ang hirap pa namang i-earn ang TRUST. 

Isa ako sa taong mahirap magtiwala. 

For me that is something you can’t buy and hard to earn.

Nagmahal ako,nagpakaloka, nag iiyak,nagtatawa,nanaginip at ngayon nagising. 

AND I AM PROUD TO SAY I EXPERIENCE IT.